You're feeling stuck. You're tired of doing the same things over and over again without ever really changing. You just know that something's just not working, but you don't know what it is. You might be feeling depressed, anxious, overwhelmed or unable to cope. Perhaps you believe you are defective, broken, or bad in some fundamental way. It could be that your life doesn't work well, personally, professionally, or romantically. Alone, or with no one you can really talk to, you may be angry, confused, and most of all scared.
At the heart of all problematic issues are feelings that are experienced as terrifying and unbearable. Imagined to be unacceptable, they are replaced by inflexible and oversimplified approaches to life that simply don't work in the real world. The solution is to re-integrate your feelings, which will provide a greater sense of freedom, as well as a richer, more complex way of life.
Before you begin your journey of emotional integration, however, I would like to suggest you read the following tips for having a positive and productive psychotherapeutic experience.
Depression is a complex emotional state that centers on hopelessness, helplessness, and loveless aloneness. It is black hole, a living Hell, and it is formidable, but it is not unconquerable. Depression must be undone from the inside. Only by examining and dismantling its emotional underpinnings can a better view of the world ever see the light of day.
High levels of anxiety manifest in a wide variety of ways, including obsessions and compulsions, panic attacks, phobias, eating disorders, and avoidance behaviors. Some of these manifestations are outright fears, while others are defenses against more hidden fears. In either case, the expressions of anxiety need to be brought into the light, so their true nature can be deciphered and remedied.
Love is an important aspect of a good life, but for many people relationships can devolve into troubling, repetitive patterns; for instance, the pursuit of unavailable lovers, or brief, intense affairs that end badly. Whatever your problematic pattern, it needs to be illuminated, understood, and remedied, so a happier one can emerge.
Life has many wonderful things that trigger joy and contentment, feelings we all live for. Life also presents us with difficult challenges that trigger painful feelings of grief, hurt, loneliness, sadness, anger and fear. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel only the good ones, never the bad? Sadly, that’s not our lot as human beings. However, there is a way to feel the positive more and to be on better terms with the negative. This is the path of radical acceptance. By experiencing and integrating all your emotions, you can live a life that is full, rich, and rewarding. I can show you how to do that.
Here is a short video that explains the basics of emotions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJOjpprbfeE
Traditionally, men have shied away from therapy, believing that emotional struggles are best ignored or suffered in silence, or that they should be “strong and manly” and deal with their issues on their own. Nothing could be further from the truth. All emotional problems developed relationally, in the crucible of early childhood; and, as has been demonstrated across many cultures for thousands of years, they are best resolved relationally, whether that relationship is with a therapist, a counselor, or a shaman. In that light, men’s issues are a particular specialty of mine.
Once upon a time, people took assertiveness training classes to help them stand up and speak out, borne of the conviction that by doing so, they would feel better about themselves and get more of what they wanted in life. Many achieved these goals, at least in part, because assertiveness, the honest expression of one’s feelings and desires, is an incredibly effective means of interpersonal interaction.
Sadly, however, there are few assertiveness training classes still in existence. However, I can teach you this incredibly useful concept. Assertiveness is something that you can learn, and, with practice, effectively apply. The results can be immediate, powerful, and long-lasting.